24

dominospizzadelivery:

"Hey can u check if that milk went bad?"

*opens fridge*

*milk has leather jacket on smoking a cigarette*

"It’s bad alright"

69

johnrulestheworld:

hickeys are beautiful because they are the only time a bruise results from love and affection rather than harm

p-otter-m-alfoy:

at least i know nobody’s using me for my looks

880

rexuality:

I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great

so-personal:

everything personal

lubricates:

date me its for a school project 

fluffyfit:

surimistick:

i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:

“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”

and i was like woah

thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten

guys just think about how applicable this is to EVERYFUCKINGTHING

dont-harshmyvibe:

if you tickle me it’s either going to lead to kissing or an extreme act of violence

crgasmic:

more romantic/soft porn here
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