dominospizzadelivery:

"Hey can u check if that milk went bad?"

*opens fridge*

*milk has leather jacket on smoking a cigarette*

"It’s bad alright"

68

johnrulestheworld:

hickeys are beautiful because they are the only time a bruise results from love and affection rather than harm

p-otter-m-alfoy:

at least i know nobody’s using me for my looks

753

rexuality:

I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great

so-personal:

everything personal

lubricates:

date me its for a school project 

fluffyfit:

surimistick:

i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:

“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”

and i was like woah

thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten

guys just think about how applicable this is to EVERYFUCKINGTHING

dont-harshmyvibe:

if you tickle me it’s either going to lead to kissing or an extreme act of violence

crgasmic:

more romantic/soft porn here
sad-babygirl:

I love spontaneous car sex. Like with my boyfriend at the start of our relationship when we were driving through the hills at night and we suddenly started getting really hot for eachother and we couldn’t contain ourselves so he pulled over the car on the side of the road and we fucked in the back.
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